Hospital lounge
by DuckieKinz
Summary: Waiting for her Shishou in the hospital lounge is dull, dull, dull. Luckily Sakura has her tablet and a bunch of patients on the phone to entertain her.


Hospital lounge. Relatively noisy. Not what I expected. People taking business calls and personal calls and philosophical calls. Meanwhile I am text-crying my friends about my lappie crashing while chronicling my adventures in the waiting room on my brand new tablet. Some chick is talking about some dude who says that he'll leave home and elope with some girl. EEEEEPIC.

Crap, the lady's business call is drowning out what the other lady is saying about the Romeo wannabe. Ooh the Business lady is talking about getting samples regardless of cost. Interesting.

Call for Itachi Uchiha. What a name! I cannot believe his parents named him Weasel! Wait apparently Mr Uchiha is not here.

Someone else began a topic about export, but ended the conversation with the same word. Dull.

Argh someone say something else. And please business lady be quiet. I want to listen to the other chick's personal problems.

The Personal Problems lady is just listening to the person she's calling for now.

Apparently someone couldn't get up. Whether that means wake up or actually get up I don't know. She made sympathetic clucking noises and is ahhing and oohing at all the right moments.

I can hear me Shishou's cell phone ringing!

And it stopped.

Dull.

Second call for Itachi Uchiha.

And he is here. Good God man, the Weasel is totally smoking hot! I am jealous of the fact that my shishou gets to stare deep into his eyes and gaze at the deep obsidian while chiding him about not getting enough sleep. Although if I were doing the chiding it would be in a much different tone and the eye check up would require a different kind of proximity, if you know what I mean.

Ah but the view of the Weasel's ponytail is now beyond even my perfect vision. I sigh in disappointment.

Oh the Personal Problems chick said something along the lines of "Don't worry you can recover it, there are fifty-fifty chances!" Now something about the hospital being near.

Someone's mom also wants it. What exactly is 'It' I do not know. Apparently people leave homes and come for 'It'. This now sounds perverted. Kakashi Sensei's influence over me is obvious.

Apparently someone is pissed off so personal problem's lady is trying to calm them down. And is talking about how this appointment is difficult to come by. Whether this appointment refers to her own or the one of the person on the phone I do not know.

I'm bored. Personal Problems lady, don't cut the call!

Ooh now PP Lady is telling the person on the phone to not worry about money and to not get her hopes up. I think the appointment is in fact for a job. I think that chick was late and now she's getting nervous. Oh crap the lady got to an interesting part but then the noise levels in the room increased and now I can't hear her.

Bloody hell something about massages?!

Oh, massages on joints or something and yet no relief.

I forgot this was a hospital and not a train, where people discuss their love lives. Eavesdropping on conversations in trains is much more fun. Reading the sappy grammatically incorrect texts people send one another while in a crowded train is also fun although having to hide the laughter is difficult.

Now something about fever. PP lady you may just have made my day.

"There has to be some problem a person falling sick over and over!" You think?!

Ooh something about Kurenai being with Asuma. But it's not that gossipy more like I couldn't call her because she's busy with him. But what kind of busy I wonder. My mind is dirty.

Business lady is talking again. Apparently he liked the planning, but needs more info about the business blah blah. Damn the noise has increased so much I can't hear anything easily. Too much chaos and random laughing.

Damn.

Ooh PP lady is asking "What time is that?" What time is what PP lady, what?!

Oh apparently Kurenai is not busy with Asuma anymore.

Ooh Business lady is talking about how she's not comfortable with something and someone started complaining so they're making a proper draft.

The person next to me is reading a magazine and I see a total hottie on the cover. Actually total hottie looks like the Weasel. Only sluttier. I mean his shirt is half off and his thumb is digging into his jeans and pulling them down just so that his hipbones show very nicely. I feel the urge to wolf whistle.

Silence again.

Dull

Call for Mrs Keiko. Wait, then shouldn't Itachi be out already? Where art thou hot Weasel dude?!

Oh no some lady walked in with two kids. Shishou hates dealing with kids during health checkups. They never sit still, or listen or anything.

Bloody Hell, Kid 1 just made fun of my hair!

Boy, it may be pink but it's all natural unlike your Mommy's tits. Now if only I had said that instead of writing it for only myself to see.

I need a life.

I miss the guy who was discussing mental health on the phone and led the conversation into philosophical roads.

I also miss my head phones.

Call for Mr Dango.

EPIC NAMES!

Ooh Mr Dango has a very shiny head. I am fascinated.

Shishou said something about patients. I HEARD HER!

She exhaled with a Pshaw.

OMG I think I see PP lady! Oh wait that's not her. That's another lady.

She's old. I shall call you Old lady and you shall be mine and you shall be my Old lady. Wait, that sounds dirty. I really need to spend less time training with Kakashi. He's rubbing off on me. Great, now even that sounds dirty.

But I definitely see Business lady. Her hair is crazy. Worse than me even.

Aww poor Old Lady's husband. He looks tired. Apparently they've been here since eight. Yeah well my Shishou has been here just as long. And she's here every day. Imagine how annoyed she must be.

I miss my Shishou.

Even though she's barely 15 metres away.

It's silent again.

Dull.

All you can hear are the sounds of pages turning and my raspy gasps as I try to suppress my yawns. All the patients seem to be playing musical chairs here. HA I have nothing to worry about. When I get up it'll be to have a learning session with my Shishou.

Must. Stifle. Yawn!

Success!

Failure.

T_T

They're talking about what Tsunade Shishou will be doing to them

Oh Eww! My mind is sick I tell you, sick!

The nurses and ward boys are throwing the word patient around. I hear Shishou laugh!

I just realised my fingers look pretty today.

The someone next to me is reading the sports section, I see an article on Real Suna's terrible performance in the Premier Ninja League.

Dear lord, how long have I been here? My toes hurt. Someone got a text. The dude in charge is pissed off. I don't like the way he talks. People get scared in hospitals; you don't need to make it worse.

Someone sneezed loudly. This is pathetic. .

I WANT SHISHOU!

And Weasel boy. But not together. If I get Weasel boy, I want him all to myself. I've forgotten Weasel boy's actual name. Must scroll up to remember.

Ah yes Itachi Uchiha. Wait does that mean he's related to Sasuke?

OMG I actually see Sasuke! Clearly then he must be related to Sasuke.

"Sakura."

Is he actually incapable of saying more than one word at a time?

"Sakura."

He sounds exasperated, I wonder why.

"Sakura put down the tablet and look at me."

"Wherefore must I do so, fair Sasuke of the Uchihas?" I sounds archaic and narrator-y. Fun!

"Tsunade-Sama said to take you home."

But she was supposed to take me home! The only reason I'm waiting here is because she told me to, it's not like I'm incapable of taking a bus or a taxi. I shall voice my thoughts.

"She said it'll take longer than she thought it would. More brats are coming in for a mandatory check up before school reopens."

That sounds like something she would say.

But why is Sasuke here?

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here with my brother."

"Itachi?"

He grows suspicious.

"You know my brother?"

"No I heard an Uchiha's name being called out."

"That would be me." A new voice joins the conversation. It is a nice deep voice. Presumably attached to the nice face of the Weasel.

Well heeello, Itachi, now that you're standing this close I _know_ that you are the slutty looking male model on the cover of the magazine that lady was just reading.

"Oh my God!" Personal Problems Lady is speaking to Itachi. How strange, why isn't she talking about Personal Problems anymore? "You're Itachi Uchiha!"

Itachi Uchiha is gracious and smiles but his eyes look terrified. I wonder what he would think if he could read my mind and knew what I was thinking about him.

Run out screaming probably.

But I want to make him scream in a very different way if you know what I mean. Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Ah crap.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Please remind me to stay away from Kakashi sensei."

"Why?" Sasuke is suspicious. I do not blame him; I do spend most of my time whining about how Kakashi Sensei won't train me.

"Because he's rubbing off on me."

"Sakura," He starts tentatively and Itachi has escaped the clutches of the fangirling Personal Problems Lady and is looking at me with curiosity. I'll give you something to look at baby ^_~

…

…

…

Seriously I need to get as far away from Kakashi sensei as possible.

"Sakura," Sasuke says again. I'd forgotten he was talking to me. "What exactly do you mean when you say that Sensei is rubbing off on you." He says carefully. Apparently I am not the only one who has been perverted by the great Copy-Nin.

"He is turning my mind into a gutter."

"You must be Sakura." Weasel sticks his hand out in front of him and I take it. I cannot unsee his hipbone. It's like his suit is see through and I can see the rocking bod underneath it. "Sasuke tell me you're in his University."

"And you're Itachi Uchiha. Sasuke says nothing about you but that's probably because of the inferiority complex he must inevitably harbour if he's your younger brother." I say lasciviously and Sasuke protests. Itachi's polite smile turns into a smirk and the need to bone him grows.

"I see he was right in saying you were the smartest in his class."

"I doubt he said that."

Itachi shrugs. "I believe he put it as 'Annoying know-it-all nerd'," The glare I shoot Sasuke has him cowering, "but I am quite adept at reading in between the lines." He says with a charming smile and I notice he has yet to let go of my hand. Personal Problems Lady is glaring at me but I don't care because she has personal problems and I have Itachi's hand in mine. I slip my hand up his arm and pull him closer by the elbow.

"Well let's take the line out entirely and say what we mean shall we?" I don't wait for an answer and continue on my path of truth. "Let's ditch Sasuke and go to a café to chat before going back to either one's place and ripping the clothes off one another."

Itachi's eyes grow wide, Sasuke splutters and Personal Problems Lady's jaw drops.

"That sounds perfect." Itachi purrs and leads me out the door with a hand on my waist that occasionally drops a bit lower.

Ka-ching!


End file.
